I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. Anonymous
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ? George Carlin
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! Anonymous
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. Anonymous