I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
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