Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Alexander Wright
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