As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense. Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
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