Work Quotes

Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.

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How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Anonymous

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.

Anonymous

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.

Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!

Anonymous

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.

Anonymous

Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work.

Anonymous

I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Anonymous

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work.

Anonymous

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Anonymous

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Anonymous

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Anonymous

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen