A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
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