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When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

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I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. Groucho Marx

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If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright

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Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ? - George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?

George Carlin

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous

Think Quotes Work Quotes

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

Drinking Work Quotes

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous

Good Quotes Work Quotes

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous

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Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Anonymous

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My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous

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As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. - Tom Goins

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

Tom Goins

Time Quotes Work Quotes

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. - Anonymous

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous

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