Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Anonymous
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. Anonymous
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. Anonymous
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