Work Quotes

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.

I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".