It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work.
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.
If Monday had a face... I would punch it.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
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