Work Quotes

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. - Steven Alexander Wright

When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. Steven Alexander Wright

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous

Short Quotes TV Quotes

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

Life Quotes People Quotes

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. Groucho Marx

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Sayings

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. - Anonymous

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. Anonymous

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Statements

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. - Anonymous

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels. Anonymous

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. - Anonymous

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. Anonymous

I'm not feeling very worky today. - Anonymous

I'm not feeling very worky today. Anonymous

Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous

Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous

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