Fred Allen Quote

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done.

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?"

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.