When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. Steven Alexander Wright
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day. Anonymous
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. Anonymous
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
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