Work Quotes

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.

I might get a job cleaning mirrors. It's definitely a job I can see myself doing.

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.

I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work.