Anonymous Quote

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.

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Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

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Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

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New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

Anonymous

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!

Anonymous

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

Anonymous

Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.

Anonymous

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Anonymous