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Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

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I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

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Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

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Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

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Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. - Anonymous

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

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Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.

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If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

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There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka. - Anonymous

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

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Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

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Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.

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Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous

Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes.

Anonymous

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. - Anonymous

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

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When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. - Anonymous

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.

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Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

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