Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. Anonymous
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous