Wise Quotes

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Alexander Wright

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Anonymous

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

Anonymous

I can't wait for that to never happen.

Anonymous

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Alexander Wright

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Sam Levenson

I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me.

Anonymous

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Mark Twain

Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.

Salvador Dali

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Dave Barry

Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!'

Anonymous

Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.

Anonymous

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.

Anonymous

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

Sigmund Freud

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Dave Barry

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

Anonymous