If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
The best revenge is massive success.
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
