If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright
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