Wise Quotes

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.

In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?

How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.