If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. Dave Barry
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
Displayed 25-48 of 73 quotes.