My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over. Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com