If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
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