Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
More Quotes by Dave Barry
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.
An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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