Wise Quotes

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.