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I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. Dave Barry

Know Quotes People Quotes

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. - Anonymous

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Anonymous

All generalizations are false, including this one. - Mark Twain

All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry

I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky. - Anonymous

I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Never Quotes Short Quotes

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. - Anonymous

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. - Anonymous

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. Anonymous

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying. Anonymous

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Alexander Wright

Short Quotes Think Quotes Witty Quotes

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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson

Short Quotes Wife Quotes

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry

Never Quotes Sleep Quotes

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! - Anonymous

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous

I can't wait for that to never happen. - Anonymous

I can't wait for that to never happen. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. - Anonymous

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." - Anonymous

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes

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