Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
The best revenge is massive success.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
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