Funny Sayings

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.

Anonymous

Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over.

Anonymous

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.

Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

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I feel the best when I am happy.

Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

Anonymous

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

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"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

Anonymous

I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth.

Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.

Anonymous

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font.

Anonymous

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.

Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

Anonymous

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

Anonymous

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

Anonymous

Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.

Anonymous

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.

Anonymous