Funny Sayings

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The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous

A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.

A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. - Anonymous

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. Anonymous

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I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. - Anonymous

Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Life is always rocky when you're a gem. - Anonymous

Life is always rocky when you're a gem. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys.

A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys. Anonymous

If Monday had a face... I would punch it. - Anonymous

If Monday had a face... I would punch it. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. Anonymous

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Sam Levenson

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. - Anonymous

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. Anonymous

Asleep first

Those who snore always fall asleep first. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill

Short Quotes Top 100

Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous

Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous

I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. - Anonymous

I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Anonymous

The word aerobics comes from two Greek works: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremedous boredom." - Dave Barry

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremedous boredom." Dave Barry

Exercise Quotes

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Statements

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