Funny Sayings

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You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright

Know Quotes Never Quotes Questions

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

Smile while you still have teeth.

Smile while you still have teeth. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous

Hold on, let me overthink this. Anonymous

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it. Anonymous

Analogies Top 100

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. - Anonymous

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Life is always rocky when you're a gem. - Anonymous

Life is always rocky when you're a gem. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I wanted to. Anonymous

Please cancel my subscription to your issues. - Anonymous

Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. - Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. - Anonymous

If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

He who laughs.....lasts. - Erma Bombeck

He who laughs.....lasts. Erma Bombeck

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