A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.
I feel the best when I am happy.
When nothing is going right, go left.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
The road to success is always under construction.
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!'
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over.
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