A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
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