Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
Smile while you still have teeth.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.
I am too lazy to be lazy.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
If Monday had a face... I would punch it.
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