Funny Sayings

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.

Anonymous

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!

Anonymous

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Anonymous

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Anonymous

Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.

Anonymous

Whomever tries to drown their sorrows by drinking should know one thing: they know how to swim!

Anonymous

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.

Anonymous

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Dave Barry

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

Anonymous

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Anonymous

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Anonymous

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

Anonymous

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

Anonymous

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Anonymous