If Monday had a face... I would punch it.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon.
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I feel the best when I am happy.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.
Hold on, let me overthink this.
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.
I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
I noticed you are not noticing me.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff.
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