Funny Sayings

Never ask a starfish for directions.

Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Anonymous

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.

Anonymous

Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.

Anonymous

I am too lazy to be lazy.

Anonymous

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

Anonymous

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Anonymous

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Anonymous

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

Anonymous

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Anonymous

Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.

Anonymous

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.

Anonymous

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

Anonymous

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

Anonymous

If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.

Anonymous