When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck.
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza.
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
I am too lazy to be lazy.
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon.
Don't press your luck, you might pop it.
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
