Funny Sayings

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I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Happy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous

I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous

Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous

Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. - Anonymous

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 World Quotes

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. - Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. Anonymous

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston Churchill

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. - Anonymous

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous

People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

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He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. - Anonymous

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

Please cancel my subscription to your issues. - Anonymous

Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright

Know Quotes Never Quotes Questions

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous

Sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I wanted to. Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Better moment

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Moments

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