Funny Sayings

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.

Anonymous

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.

Anonymous

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.

Anonymous

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

Anonymous

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Dave Barry

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Anonymous

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

Anonymous

Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Anonymous

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Anonymous

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.

Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions.

Anonymous

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Alison Boulter

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Anonymous