Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous