Anonymous Quote

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.