I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.