Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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