Funny Sayings

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An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous

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Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. - Anonymous

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Wise Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Math Quotes Think Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.

Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it. Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Questions

Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue. - Anonymous

Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue. Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous

If only common sense were more common. - Anonymous

If only common sense were more common. Anonymous

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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