Funny Sayings

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To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. - Anonymous

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous

Witty Quotes Work Quotes

You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents. Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. - Anonymous

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Anonymous

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Benjamin Franklin

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. - Anonymous

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. Anonymous

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes Top 100

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing. Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Top 100 World Quotes

I'd take a nerf bullet for you. - Anonymous

I'd take a nerf bullet for you. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. - Katherine Gaskin

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Katherine Gaskin

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Happy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous

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