Funny Sayings

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Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements Top 100

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Top 100

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. - Anonymous

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous

Witty Quotes Work Quotes

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

If only common sense were more common. - Anonymous

If only common sense were more common. Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. - Anonymous

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous

I'd take a nerf bullet for you. - Anonymous

I'd take a nerf bullet for you. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes Top 100

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous

Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face. - Anonymous

Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face. Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. - Anonymous

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Benjamin Franklin

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing. Anonymous

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

Displayed 121-144 of 245 quotes.

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