Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. Anonymous
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
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