Funny Sayings

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A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa
Short Quotes Top 100
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Top 100
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents. Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Top 100
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Statements
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Top 100 World Quotes
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. - Anonymous
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry
Famous Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. - Anonymous
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
I'd take a nerf bullet for you. - Anonymous
I'd take a nerf bullet for you. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
Top 100
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