Funny Sayings

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"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. - Anonymous

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa

Short Quotes Top 100

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Anonymous

They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. - Anonymous

They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Sam Levenson

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous

When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it. - Anonymous

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it. Anonymous

Smile like a monkey with a new banana. Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes Top 100

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