Funny Sayings

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Katherine Gaskin

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Anonymous

I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."

Anonymous

The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Anonymous

It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.

Anonymous

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon.

Anonymous

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

Anonymous

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

Anonymous

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff.

Anonymous

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Mark Twain

They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late.

Anonymous

If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.

Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Anonymous

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.

Anonymous

Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.

Anonymous

I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck.

Anonymous

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Anonymous