Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous
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