Funny Sayings

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Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Friend Quotes Top 100

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous

Statements Top 100

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Top 100

Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. - Anonymous

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Statements

If only common sense were more common. - Anonymous

If only common sense were more common. Anonymous

The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. - Anonymous

The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Short Quotes Top 100

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Good Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

I feel the best when I am happy.

I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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