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When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.

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In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. - Anonymous

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.

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Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. - Anonymous

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

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I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! - Anonymous

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!

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People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous

People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

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The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

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It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

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A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

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I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

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Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts.

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!

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Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.

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In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

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All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

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Asleep first

Those who snore always fall asleep first.

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I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

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I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

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