Funny Sayings

Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.