Funny Sayings

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.

Anonymous

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

Anonymous

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!

Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done.

Anonymous

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.

Anonymous

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff.

Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate.

Anonymous

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Anonymous

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.

Anonymous

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.

Anonymous

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.

Anonymous

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

Anonymous