Funny Sayings

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When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous

People Quotes Sleep Quotes Wise Quotes

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Good Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous

People Quotes Top 100

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Friend Quotes Top 100

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Joey Adams

Love Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous

I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous

Statements Top 100

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Short Quotes Top 100

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous

The road to success is always under construction.

The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin

Short Quotes Top 100

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Top 100

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