I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor."
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.
Never ask a starfish for directions.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
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