It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.
Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
If only common sense were more common.
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there's a small hole in the bag somewhere.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet.
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
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