Funny Sayings

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Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Top 100

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. - Anonymous

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. Anonymous

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If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted. Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. - Anonymous

Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous

When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Top 100

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous

Know Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes Wise Quotes

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous

Never Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous

Know Quotes Statements Top 100

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I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. - Anonymous

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. - Anonymous

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going. Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

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