Funny Sayings

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

When nothing is going right, go left.

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.