Funny Sayings

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Anonymous

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Katherine Gaskin

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!

Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.

Anonymous

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate.

Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.

Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done.

Anonymous

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.

Anonymous

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Anonymous

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff.

Anonymous

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.

Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Anonymous