A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous