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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

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Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

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When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.

When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous

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I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. - Anonymous

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes

I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous

I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman

Eat Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Eat Quotes Sayings

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

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Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

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I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous

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Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Your cake

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous

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If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean...

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Internet

Cupcakes

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous

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