There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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