All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Charles M. Schulz
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Henry Louis Mencken
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it.
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
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