If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright