Top 100 Funny Quotes

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In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Stupid Quotes
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. - Anonymous
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
You can trust your dog to guard your house.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
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