Top 100 Funny Quotes
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Displayed 151-165 of 400 quotes.