Top 100 Funny Quotes
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
Anonymous
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
Anonymous
Displayed 136-150 of 400 quotes.