Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous
Questions Work Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
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