Top 100 Funny Quotes
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It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Anonymous
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
Anonymous
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
Displayed 136-150 of 400 quotes.














