Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
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