Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous

Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments Work Quotes

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Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Sayings Short Quotes

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes

Smile while you still have teeth.

Smile while you still have teeth. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous

The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.

The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Love Quotes

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Sayings World Quotes

When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.

When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Know Quotes Life Quotes

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... - Anonymous

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

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My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Sayings

I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous

I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Money Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. - Anonymous

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. Anonymous

Analogies Eat Quotes

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