Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Sayings World Quotes
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A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Analogies Famous Quotes Good Quotes
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa
Sayings Short Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
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