When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
More Quotes by Anonymous
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
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