Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. - Anonymous
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments People Quotes
4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous
4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
Questions
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. - Anonymous
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Animals Love Quotes
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