Top 100 Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked.
Anonymous
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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Anonymous
Displayed 61-75 of 400 quotes.