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When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.

When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.

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Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Anonymous

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There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein

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In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

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The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin

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I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

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I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.

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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

Anonymous

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Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.

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The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

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What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

Anonymous

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It doesn't matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.

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One day my wife's credit card got stolen.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

Anonymous

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Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!

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I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

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Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

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