Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
If Monday had a face... I would punch it.
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
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