Top 100 Funny Quotes

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When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous
Questions
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Groucho Marx
Life Quotes
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Wife Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
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