I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright