Short Funny Quotes

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If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa

Sayings Top 100

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

Questions Top 100 Wise Quotes

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. - Anonymous

If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Top 100

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Top 100

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous

Computers Friend Quotes Top 100

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

Love Quotes Sayings Top 100

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Time Quotes

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. - Anonymous

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Top 100

When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips

Computers Stupid Quotes

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Stupid Quotes

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Phone Top 100

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