To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Alison Boulter
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more.
Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments.
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Helen Giangregorio
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
