Short Funny Quotes

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

Anonymous

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Anonymous

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Anonymous

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Anonymous

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Anonymous

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.

Anonymous

I wish my wallet came with free refills.

Anonymous

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

Anonymous

I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Anonymous

I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.

Socrates

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Anonymous

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Anonymous

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Anonymous

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.

Anonymous