Short Funny Quotes

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.