Short Funny Quotes

Home / Short Funny Quotes / Page 3

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Top 100

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Sayings

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100 Wise Quotes

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Know Quotes Top 100

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

Famous Quotes Sayings Top 100

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Life Quotes TV Quotes

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Top 100

I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Anonymous

Money Quotes Top 100

The road to success is always under construction.

The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin

Sayings Top 100

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Moments Money Quotes Top 100

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous

Animals People Quotes Witty Quotes

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Sam Levenson

Sayings Wise Quotes

I already want to take a nap tomorrow. - Anonymous

I already want to take a nap tomorrow. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous

Sayings Time Quotes

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. - Albert King

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Albert King

Sayings Top 100

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Sayings Top 100

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous

Love Quotes Top 100

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Top 100

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous

Life Quotes Top 100

Displayed 49-72 of 90 quotes.