Short Funny Quotes

Home / Short Funny Quotes / Page 3

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Top 100 Wise Quotes

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous

Animals People Quotes Witty Quotes

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Top 100

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Statements

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Never Quotes Wise Quotes

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous

Questions Sleep Quotes Top 100

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous

We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Know Quotes Top 100

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous

Computers Friend Quotes Top 100

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. - Anonymous

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. Anonymous

Top 100 Wise Quotes

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Top 100

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous

Analogies Top 100 Work Quotes

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Sayings Top 100

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous

Animals Questions

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! - Anonymous

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Wise Quotes

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Moments World Quotes

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Top 100

Displayed 49-72 of 90 quotes.