Short Funny Quotes

You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.

Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?

Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Anonymous

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Anonymous

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.

Anonymous

Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?

Anonymous

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Anonymous

I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

Anonymous

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Anonymous

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!

Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Anonymous

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

Anonymous

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?

Anonymous

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.

Anonymous

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Anonymous