Short Funny Quotes

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Anonymous

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor."

Anonymous

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Anonymous

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Albert King

Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.

Anonymous

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.

Anonymous

If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.

Anonymous

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

Anonymous

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.

Anonymous

You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang.

Anonymous

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

Anonymous

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Charles M. Schulz

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together.

Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

Frank Zappa

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Anonymous