Short Funny Quotes

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.

I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!