Short Funny Quotes

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments.

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.