Short Funny Quotes

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...

Anonymous

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.

Anonymous

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor."

Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Anonymous

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Anonymous

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

Anonymous

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

Frank Zappa

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

Frank Zappa

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

Anonymous

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Anonymous

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Albert Einstein

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Anonymous

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.

Anonymous