Short Funny Quotes

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Anonymous

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up!

Anonymous

Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work.

Anonymous

I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!!

Anonymous

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.

Anonymous

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Anonymous

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.

Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.

Anonymous

The road to success is always under construction.

Lily Tomlin

They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.

Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads.

Anonymous

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

Anonymous

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left.

Anonymous

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Anonymous