Short Funny Quotes

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.