Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.
4 out 3 people struggle with math.
I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
