Short Funny Quotes

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

When nothing is going right, go left.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!