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The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
Anonymous
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You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.
Anonymous
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Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
Anonymous
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Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
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I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
Anonymous
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My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
Anonymous
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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
Anonymous
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4 out 3 people struggle with math.
Anonymous
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Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.
Anonymous
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If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?
Anonymous
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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
Anonymous
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Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.
Anonymous
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We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.
Anonymous
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I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."
Anonymous
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A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.
Anonymous
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Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.
Anonymous
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Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
Anonymous
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