My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?
Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.
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