I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
My husband is like Math, can't be contradicted.
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!'
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
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