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Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson

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I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous

Know Quotes Marriage Quotes Top 100

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous

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My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous

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The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Sayings

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. - Sigmund Freud

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud

Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over. Anonymous

Life Quotes Time Quotes

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. - Anonymous

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

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What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. - Anonymous

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman

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My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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One day my wife's credit card got stolen.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous

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I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. - Anonymous

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous

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