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Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

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I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

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When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

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The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

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If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

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Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.

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Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

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My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.

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