Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Time Quotes
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous
Life Quotes Marriage Quotes
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Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way. - Anonymous
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I'm not overweight, I'm on the wrong planet. Anonymous
Life Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous
Work Quotes
The reward for doing really good work is more work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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