A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up.
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you."
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.
Me and my best friend can communicate with just facial expressions.
I'm not feeling very worky today.
Best friend: the one you can only get mad at for a short period, because you have important stuff to tell them.
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!
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