Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
Work Quotes
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!! - Anonymous
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
Analogies Drinking Wife Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. - Anonymous
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous
Never Quotes Statements Time Quotes
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

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