Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.
Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics.
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
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